This weekend was a blast double header at Guaranteed Poison Productions: the music spread out over two locations. Double the noise? Why the fuck not?

The first stop was Studio A, where Quantum Opposition was test driving a new bass rig. (What’s that, you ask? How in the name of all that’s holy did those guys fit MORE speakers in that fucking basement?? Guess you’ll just have to come out and see for yourself.) Quantum Opposition, originally a two-man group between the multitalented Doug and RJ, has recently expanded its ranks to include Zack W. (of drum prodigy fame), bassist K. (of Father Oblivion) and guitar shredmaster Al (also of Father Oblivion). Their style follows in the footsteps of Rage Against the Machine and Pantera, laying fierce hip-hop vocals over a framework of churning metal. The result is music you will never get out of your head: one bang-your-skull-against-the-wall riff after another in a snarling cycle of face-peeling destruction. And these guys are just getting warmed up. We expect great things.img_4496

Later in the evening we drifted over to Studio B. I met Porn Star Tom, who served as a human smoke machine, puffing on a nicotine vaporizer in between way-too-honest remarks about his sex life. I also got my first glimpse of !nnerspinal (wow). I heard two of their original songs, and the first one literally took my breath away. I kept waiting for it to turn into something I recognized, because it had that full-production sound you hear on an actual CD. How the fuck they managed that in a basement, with a couple of stacks and some hand-scratched lyrics tacked to the wall, is beyond me. Maybe it’s got something to do with their lead guitarist Donny, who (in addition to a pedal-slab with enough blinking lights and switches to blow up North Korea) has the stage-presence of a James Hetfield or a Kirk Hammett,img_4537 bowing mid-riff into the crowd to amp them up. Or maybe the secret to !nnerspinal’s success is their vocalist, who has told me not to call him Chad even though it’s his name. (If you knew him you would understand.) Whatever. The dude can sing. And the combination is mind-blowing: !nnerspinal is all power.

How the fuck can a couple of square miles in the backwoods of Michigan handle this much raw talent? What fantastical new bands will spring up next? Does Porn Star Tom really mean what he says about doing his mother-in-law??

Tune in next week to find out. Until then, you fuckers. šŸ™‚

K. Lahaie

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